A birth and parenting plan is a way of conveying your wishes for your baby’s birth and for the care of your baby and you. It can include preferences for labor and birth, such as pain relief for you, and goals for after your baby’s birth, such as ways to create memories together and include family and friends. You can also integrate your requests for your baby’s medical care, outlining your preliminary decisions regarding evaluations and testing, medical intervention, and palliative care. The process of collaborating with your caregivers and putting your requests in writing can ensure that your wishes are clearly communicated and give you a sense of control in a situation in which so many things may feel out of your control. Although it may seem profoundly sad to write a birth plan for a birth that is expected to end in death, you may also see it as a way of parenting your baby and choreographing the extraordinarily precious time surrounding your baby's entrance into the world.
Birth plans sometimes have a negative reputation among medical professionals, but especially for perinatal hospice deliveries, a birth plan can also benefit your care team in important ways. A birth plan offers a format for discussion and education about the birth process (which doesn't always unfold according to plan) and your baby's condition. It ensures that all parties have similar information. A written document gives all of you a map to follow together to make your time with your baby as close to what you are envisioning as possible. It is essential to work in partnership with your caregivers to confirm that your plan is workable, to revise it if necessary, and to ensure that any special arrangements can be made. Also, be concise; brevity makes your birth plan easier for busy medical professionals to read — and to follow.
Your birth and care plan can be as unique as your baby is, but most plans need to address some similar topics. A valuable way to start is to state your overriding wishes for your baby's life. For example, one family’s statement was, “Our overriding wish is that our son’s brief life be free of pain and filled with love.” This mission statement helps you and your caregivers keep your goals in mind, even if you need to accommodate unexpected detours during your labor or in your baby’s condition.
A perinatal hospice/palliative care birth plan often includes:
Wishes for labor and delivery
Wishes for your time with your baby
You may want to include wishes regarding:
If medical intervention for your baby is possible and you have already reached some decisions, these should be specified in your plan. Possible topics to discuss with your caregivers include:
Plans for if your baby lives
Plans for if your baby dies
Your birth plan is a way to share your decisions and hopes with your caregivers, who can use it as a guide as your baby's birth unfolds. Your birth plan is not set in stone; you can modify it and be flexible if new circumstances arise or if your wishes change. You can let your baby lead you.
—Adapted from A Gift of Time: Continuing Your Pregnancy When Your Baby's Life Is Expected to be Brief, by Amy Kuebelbeck and Deborah L. Davis Ph.D. (Johns Hopkins University Press, 2011). For more birth planning references and many other resources, visit the Resources for Parents page on this site.